Okay, so I haven't been blogging in a while. I promised my mother that I would blog about the importance of a rite of passage that I need to attend to. I really don't feel like it. I'm 35. I'm due for my first mammogram. Okay, I really don't want to do it. Sorry, something about having my boob squeezed between glass plates in a cold sterile environment doesn't do it for me. Just like the annual Pap. Now, if the tech or the Gyn looked like... oh... I don't know... Johnny Depp.... that would be soemthing different. But I need to go.
My maternal grandmother died from ovarian cancer. Something I have to watch out for considering all my Gyn issues. The genetic marker for ovarian cancer is the same for brest cancer. Plus, my father's little sister is currently under going aggressive treatment for stage 4 breast cancer. Her older sister had it. Plus there are more distant aunts in the family with a similar history. So, I need to go and get a base line.
My OBGYN is a friend from high school (talk about a weird situation there), but it's something I need to do.
Plus now there is my other excuse for not blogging in a while. Recently, Brian and I got reaquanted with an old friend who shares my OBESSION with reading. She's as bad as me. Puts a book every other day away. Recently she has lent me nearly 25 books, mostly the same author. So, I've been reading a lot. Then there is the writing.
Okay, so a few years ago I was writing again. A lot. I had printed a few things and put them in a binder. I lent one to my sister in law. She lost it. She moved recently and found it. I re read the dribble that I wrote and it is dribble. So, I've had this piece sitting in my head for a long time and I always get to one point and get writers block. I've tried several different approaches and so fare nothing has worked. Until this time, I hope. I'm two chapters in and I think this one might work. But it's still dribble. Gotta go. Came up with the next scene while writing this!
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Friday, April 10, 2009
Slacker
Okay. I admit it. I've been slacking off. By the time I get home, get through the normal routine of everything, the last thing I want to do is sign on and blog. Besides, there really hasn't been much to talk about.
Emily has been off of school this week and has been going to work with Dad and E-pa. Plus, we have all been sick.
BUT... Brian. That's another story. His incision from his surgery runs from the bottom of his breast bone to the top of his pelvis. I don't know what he did, but at some point this winter, he herniated the incision. It was small to begin with. But, while he was sick this week, he coughed and it' worse. We are going to see the surgeon on Tuesday to see if this is something that needs to be repaired or not.
Other than that, nothing new is going on here. I've embedded a picture of Emily with her new cousin Jameson.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
It's too quiet... What are you doing?!
Emily got up and crawled into bed with me at some point after Brian left for work this morning. It's not that uncommon on a Saturday morning. She woke me up to change the television channel for her. I got her something to eat and laid back down. I must have dozed off. I woke up and it was quiet. Too quiet. You know that quiet. I called for her and she told me that she was in the bathroom. I got up and found her in the bathroom, standing by the sink with a pair of scissors in her hand. Okay. I left the scissors on the counter. That was my bad. But her hair was neatly piled in the garbage can. There was basically nothing left on her head. She cut her hair off.
The conversation goes like this.
Me (calmly) What are you doing?
Em (pause) I cut my hair.
Me (Still Calmly) Why?
Em I wanted to look like you.
I stopped here and looked at her. I had her turn around. It was short. It was really short in the bad. (How in the hell did she do such a good job in the back?)
Me Emily, you know that you shouldn't have cut your own hair.
Em. I know. It was bad of me. Don't be angry Mommy.
Me If you wanted short hair all you had to do was ask. You have an appointment to get your hair cut this afternoon.
Em Why can't I cut my hair? Why can't you cut it?
This then leads into the conversation about needing to go to school to learn to cut hair. I cut a few really odd long pieces, got her in the shower and called Daddy.
The hairdresser was able to fix it, do the degree that she could. There is one spot just above her bangs that is spikey. It's longer on one side than the other.
She's not going to be able to see a movie for at least 4 days. Plus... I had to tell her that she wouldn't have long hair again until she was at least 10. That put it in perspective for her.
Up side... Daddy has a much easier morning routine now!
The conversation goes like this.
Me (calmly) What are you doing?
Em (pause) I cut my hair.
Me (Still Calmly) Why?
Em I wanted to look like you.
I stopped here and looked at her. I had her turn around. It was short. It was really short in the bad. (How in the hell did she do such a good job in the back?)
Me Emily, you know that you shouldn't have cut your own hair.
Em. I know. It was bad of me. Don't be angry Mommy.
Me If you wanted short hair all you had to do was ask. You have an appointment to get your hair cut this afternoon.
Em Why can't I cut my hair? Why can't you cut it?
This then leads into the conversation about needing to go to school to learn to cut hair. I cut a few really odd long pieces, got her in the shower and called Daddy.
The hairdresser was able to fix it, do the degree that she could. There is one spot just above her bangs that is spikey. It's longer on one side than the other.
She's not going to be able to see a movie for at least 4 days. Plus... I had to tell her that she wouldn't have long hair again until she was at least 10. That put it in perspective for her.
Up side... Daddy has a much easier morning routine now!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Tugging on the insides
First I would like to congratulate my cousin and her family on the birth of their new baby! I'm thrilled for them.
But, my mother called tonight to tell me that the baby was here and I was thrilled. Em got on the phone so that my mother could tell her about the new baby. That of course brings up the same conversation over and over again.
About 6 years ago, while in nursing school, I got sick. I had a choice after 9 months of treatment that really wasn't a choice. Surgery or surgery. They were able to fix my problem. But the problem was that we would never be able to have any more children.
Emily doesn't understand why she is an only child. She wants to have brothers or sisters. We have talked about the fact that God said that all we needed in our family is one little girl. But listening to two of cousins being pregnant right now... well one now... is kinda hard.
I love babies. I would love to have another one. But the factory is closed. No more children.
Sure, we could adopt. We could, but it's so hard and there is something about it that I'm not that interested in. I like the idea of a simple natural act, bringing out a natural child. Plus, I have enough issues with Em and I know where she came from. Plus, we really can't afford it. So, Em will remain an only child.
Then again, I'm not really that interested in the late nights, early mornings or diapers again. So... I guess I'll just have to wait for grandchildren!
But, my mother called tonight to tell me that the baby was here and I was thrilled. Em got on the phone so that my mother could tell her about the new baby. That of course brings up the same conversation over and over again.
About 6 years ago, while in nursing school, I got sick. I had a choice after 9 months of treatment that really wasn't a choice. Surgery or surgery. They were able to fix my problem. But the problem was that we would never be able to have any more children.
Emily doesn't understand why she is an only child. She wants to have brothers or sisters. We have talked about the fact that God said that all we needed in our family is one little girl. But listening to two of cousins being pregnant right now... well one now... is kinda hard.
I love babies. I would love to have another one. But the factory is closed. No more children.
Sure, we could adopt. We could, but it's so hard and there is something about it that I'm not that interested in. I like the idea of a simple natural act, bringing out a natural child. Plus, I have enough issues with Em and I know where she came from. Plus, we really can't afford it. So, Em will remain an only child.
Then again, I'm not really that interested in the late nights, early mornings or diapers again. So... I guess I'll just have to wait for grandchildren!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Been a while
I know, I know. It's been a while since I last posted, but it's been crazy. I know it's not a good enough excuse, but let me tell you abit about what has been going on here.
I was sick. Again. I had some sort of stomach thing. Trust me when I say it wasn't great. I seemed to have come down with it after Em's party. (Which was great. We all had a blast).
But the day after I went home from work sick, I went back to work only to be greated by my friends from the NYS Department of Health. Yeah!
We knew they coming. It's something we begin to work on harder than normal around Thanksgiving.
For those of you who have never been through a state inspection let me try and explain it to you. In order for our facility to state that we are regulated and live and strive to a certain standard, we are required to have annual inspections. This means the state sends in a team of 3-5 people to look through everything. And I mean everything. They make sure that I pass my medications correctly and to the letter of the rules ( which were written before I was born and are so grey that even a lawyer can't figure them out). They look at all our paperwork, all our charts, our personel paperwork, our water temperture, out food prep, out freezers, even how much salt we have in the salt shakers! There is nothing and I mean nothing that doesn't get the scrutiny of the inspectors. They have the ultimate say in if we stay open. They can shut us down in a second.
We are being watched the entire time. They ask us about decsions and other statements we made a year ago. It's hard to remember what has happened in that time. They ask what happened each and every time a resident falls. Why didn't we do this or that or why did we do what we did.
Now, ask yourself, a year ago a work you did X. Do you remember doing X? Do you remember if you did uvw first? Or did you do lmn? Did you still come to X? Now do that for about 50 or so people? Answer those questions. Then still take care of normal day to day operations, prepare for the next doctor day, order medications.... you get the idea. It's the least fun thing about my job.
In the past I have been through state inspections, JACHO inspections and the like. But, I was never anything more than a pawn. I was the one still working on the floor and maybe had to open a room or answer a question or two for the inspectors. Now, it's my butt and licsence on the line.
WHAT THE HELL DID I GET MYSELF INTO?
I wish I knew. All I can say is that the stress at work has ebbed a bit, at least we aren't worried about them coming back until next year. But now the corrections have to be made and work around them.
Sigh. At least they were plesant!
I was sick. Again. I had some sort of stomach thing. Trust me when I say it wasn't great. I seemed to have come down with it after Em's party. (Which was great. We all had a blast).
But the day after I went home from work sick, I went back to work only to be greated by my friends from the NYS Department of Health. Yeah!
We knew they coming. It's something we begin to work on harder than normal around Thanksgiving.
For those of you who have never been through a state inspection let me try and explain it to you. In order for our facility to state that we are regulated and live and strive to a certain standard, we are required to have annual inspections. This means the state sends in a team of 3-5 people to look through everything. And I mean everything. They make sure that I pass my medications correctly and to the letter of the rules ( which were written before I was born and are so grey that even a lawyer can't figure them out). They look at all our paperwork, all our charts, our personel paperwork, our water temperture, out food prep, out freezers, even how much salt we have in the salt shakers! There is nothing and I mean nothing that doesn't get the scrutiny of the inspectors. They have the ultimate say in if we stay open. They can shut us down in a second.
We are being watched the entire time. They ask us about decsions and other statements we made a year ago. It's hard to remember what has happened in that time. They ask what happened each and every time a resident falls. Why didn't we do this or that or why did we do what we did.
Now, ask yourself, a year ago a work you did X. Do you remember doing X? Do you remember if you did uvw first? Or did you do lmn? Did you still come to X? Now do that for about 50 or so people? Answer those questions. Then still take care of normal day to day operations, prepare for the next doctor day, order medications.... you get the idea. It's the least fun thing about my job.
In the past I have been through state inspections, JACHO inspections and the like. But, I was never anything more than a pawn. I was the one still working on the floor and maybe had to open a room or answer a question or two for the inspectors. Now, it's my butt and licsence on the line.
WHAT THE HELL DID I GET MYSELF INTO?
I wish I knew. All I can say is that the stress at work has ebbed a bit, at least we aren't worried about them coming back until next year. But now the corrections have to be made and work around them.
Sigh. At least they were plesant!
Monday, February 9, 2009
Birthday Parties and Colds
Last week I had a nasty head cold. It wasn't plesant, but almost expected in the winter. Now Brian and Emily have one. My house sounds like a TB ward.
My little girl turns 8 on Sunday. My mother convinced me that this year we need to have kids party in addition to the regular party that we always have. So, I decided that if we are indeed going to have a kid party we were going to do both parties in one weekend. What the hell was I thinking? It's planning two parties, trying to do the normal week stuff, work around two Valentine's Day parties and deal with the illness in the house. Plus we are having company on Saturday for the weekend.
When Em doesn't feel well, it's kinda expected that she whines and carrys on. She's little yet. Now her father, a grown man whines even louder. It's almost embarrasing. He moaned and groaned all day yesterday and is so whiny that asking him to help me pick up and clean the house is out of the question. I might as well ask him to reshingle the roof. I might get better results there.
Em is back on her Mary Poppins kick. Why can't I have the magic power to snap my fingers and clean the house like she does?
My little girl turns 8 on Sunday. My mother convinced me that this year we need to have kids party in addition to the regular party that we always have. So, I decided that if we are indeed going to have a kid party we were going to do both parties in one weekend. What the hell was I thinking? It's planning two parties, trying to do the normal week stuff, work around two Valentine's Day parties and deal with the illness in the house. Plus we are having company on Saturday for the weekend.
When Em doesn't feel well, it's kinda expected that she whines and carrys on. She's little yet. Now her father, a grown man whines even louder. It's almost embarrasing. He moaned and groaned all day yesterday and is so whiny that asking him to help me pick up and clean the house is out of the question. I might as well ask him to reshingle the roof. I might get better results there.
Em is back on her Mary Poppins kick. Why can't I have the magic power to snap my fingers and clean the house like she does?
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