I thought one of the hardest days of my life was Friday when we spent the day at the funeral home picking out the casket, the cards and all the other things that go along with the prepartions to a funeral. It was a lot of tough choices and so many things to think about while you are still reeling from the shock of the death of a loved one.
But today was harder. Tonight was the wake for George and it was fantasic. There were so many faces, people we hadn't seen in years, friends, family and people who knew George through out his many incarnations in the public. The VFW came and did a beautiful tribute, formal and informal, each member of the five or six different posts telling us the different ways that George had touched their lives.
We had friends we had lost touch with come. People that Brian hadn't seen since high school. All but four of his cousins came. Even the ones who had just lost their fathers. (In case I forgot to tell you, George was the youngest of five. The oldest Liz, lives in Jersey and there were three other brothers. We lost one brother in October and the other just a short 3 weeks ago).
I was truly touched to see Brian's friends from work, a couple that a good friends of my father's and our friends who drove up from Long Island to be with us. Brian's French Candian brother in law, some of his family is even here.
But Emily, oh my little Emily is growing up. She has had a great handle on what has happened. And she told us she wanted to see Pop-pops one last time. Last night, she and I were sitting talking about the funeral home and what she wanted to do. If she wanted to go or not. As of last night she didn't.
This evening, she was with my parents and started talking about seeing George one last time. My parents brought her. There was no one there. They brought her up, she saw George, blew him a kiss and told him good bye. It broke my heart.
There is another part of this story, but as my head is killing me, I have a houseful of our friends who are here to be with Brian, I'm going to go.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Saturday, December 27, 2008
So George
George, Brian's father was a very active member of the VFW. Being that he was a Vietnam era vet, he had great patriotism in his country and was very, very involved, to the point where he missed family events due to his commitment to the VFW.
One of the last projects George was involved in was the creation of the Ulster County Veterens Cemetery in New Paltz. The Cemetery was dedicated on Verterns Day of this year. George told Kathleen (Brian's Mom) that he wanted to be buried there.
Fast forward to yesterday. We had to go to the funeral home and make all the arangements. My mother in law or sister in law had already call the VFW state commander, who George was his assistant and very good friends with. Bob was told that George wanted to be buried in the new cemetery.
Well, in a very George like fashion, George will be the first burial in this area. They had previously intered ashes, but this will be the first casket. It would have made him proud.
Now, please pray for a mild day.
One of the last projects George was involved in was the creation of the Ulster County Veterens Cemetery in New Paltz. The Cemetery was dedicated on Verterns Day of this year. George told Kathleen (Brian's Mom) that he wanted to be buried there.
Fast forward to yesterday. We had to go to the funeral home and make all the arangements. My mother in law or sister in law had already call the VFW state commander, who George was his assistant and very good friends with. Bob was told that George wanted to be buried in the new cemetery.
Well, in a very George like fashion, George will be the first burial in this area. They had previously intered ashes, but this will be the first casket. It would have made him proud.
Now, please pray for a mild day.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
He will be missed
I have the very sad duty to report that Brian's Father George lost his battle with life this evening. For the thirteen and a half years that I have known the man, I have come to respect him, admire him and love him as a special person in my life.
George had been sick on and off for more than fifteen years. We often joked in the family that he had more lives than a cat. He often would get ill, we'd all rush to the hospital, on eggshells, only to find out he was fine. This time when the call came, we knew that it was over.
He had been suffering as of late and we are comforted in the knowledge that he is in heaven with God and his two older brothers who we lost within the last three months.
There is not much more I can say. My father said it best in his blog.http://www.takenthedirtnap.blogspot.com/
Please read it.
Thank you all for your support and love.
Merry Christmas
George had been sick on and off for more than fifteen years. We often joked in the family that he had more lives than a cat. He often would get ill, we'd all rush to the hospital, on eggshells, only to find out he was fine. This time when the call came, we knew that it was over.
He had been suffering as of late and we are comforted in the knowledge that he is in heaven with God and his two older brothers who we lost within the last three months.
There is not much more I can say. My father said it best in his blog.http://www.takenthedirtnap.blogspot.com/
Please read it.
Thank you all for your support and love.
Merry Christmas
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Let it snow, let it snow, let it... GD Snow plows!!!
Today is Sunday. It started snowing around noon on Friday and didn't stop until this afternoon. It slowed a few times, but it never really stopped. Friday we were forcast for 12-14 inches with the snow falling about 1 inch an hour. We've had snow this season, but not enough to make any difference or register. But we have had nearly 2 feet in three days.
We live on a main road and are plowed fairly often. It's been crazy. Just as we get dug out, we have to start again. So, we decided that it was time, after living on our own for about 13 years, to buy a snow blower. We went to Sears and it was a decent deal. And boy oh boy was it fun to play with this afternoon.
The drive way is only about as wide as a car and maybe two feet more on either side. Brian and I fight every year about the snow. He clears only enough to get the car in. That's it. I hate it. Trying to get Em out, groceries, etc without ending up in a snow drift is quite hard. Now, the sides are so clean you can see grass.
Saturday I had to work. Mom had Em. She had a hair appointment about six or seven miles from work. It was still snowing. So, I should have only taken me about fifteen minutes to drive across town to pick up Em from the salon. Yeah right. I get about half way there and I can see flasshing lights and traffic stopped. Quick around the back way. Ha, ha. The traffic on the back roads was terrible, because, of course the plow job was piss poor.
Then, I had to drive past the mall and other shopping areas. I might as well have been driving in rush hour LA traffic. 45 minutes after I left work, I pulled into the salon. Then I have to repeat the drive back home. Thirty minutes. Then into the shower quick, get dressed for a Christmas party, dinner and onto the party.
This morning, at a God awful 7:45am we get this phone call. Sunday school was cancelled as was the Christmas Pagent for this afternoon. Okay. Back to sleep then. Then my mother in law calls. Would Bri drive her an hour north, in the snow and pick up his father who was being released from the hospital. He hangs up with her and looks at me.
I called my father, who went to work. He tells me the highways aren't plowed. We call Kathleen back and tell her no. The hospital agreed that they would keep him one more night.
So, Brian and Em are going to get Pop Pops at the hospital tomorrow. While I go to work.
Yeah me!!!! (insert bad London Tipton impression)
I more than likely won't blog again until after Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
We live on a main road and are plowed fairly often. It's been crazy. Just as we get dug out, we have to start again. So, we decided that it was time, after living on our own for about 13 years, to buy a snow blower. We went to Sears and it was a decent deal. And boy oh boy was it fun to play with this afternoon.
The drive way is only about as wide as a car and maybe two feet more on either side. Brian and I fight every year about the snow. He clears only enough to get the car in. That's it. I hate it. Trying to get Em out, groceries, etc without ending up in a snow drift is quite hard. Now, the sides are so clean you can see grass.
Saturday I had to work. Mom had Em. She had a hair appointment about six or seven miles from work. It was still snowing. So, I should have only taken me about fifteen minutes to drive across town to pick up Em from the salon. Yeah right. I get about half way there and I can see flasshing lights and traffic stopped. Quick around the back way. Ha, ha. The traffic on the back roads was terrible, because, of course the plow job was piss poor.
Then, I had to drive past the mall and other shopping areas. I might as well have been driving in rush hour LA traffic. 45 minutes after I left work, I pulled into the salon. Then I have to repeat the drive back home. Thirty minutes. Then into the shower quick, get dressed for a Christmas party, dinner and onto the party.
This morning, at a God awful 7:45am we get this phone call. Sunday school was cancelled as was the Christmas Pagent for this afternoon. Okay. Back to sleep then. Then my mother in law calls. Would Bri drive her an hour north, in the snow and pick up his father who was being released from the hospital. He hangs up with her and looks at me.
I called my father, who went to work. He tells me the highways aren't plowed. We call Kathleen back and tell her no. The hospital agreed that they would keep him one more night.
So, Brian and Em are going to get Pop Pops at the hospital tomorrow. While I go to work.
Yeah me!!!! (insert bad London Tipton impression)
I more than likely won't blog again until after Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
The Trama
Last weekend, Mom and I took Em to the local boutique grocery, farm stand, garden center... to see Santa. They do free digital pictures every year and don't copy right them so you can copy them as many times as you like. Plus Mom and I always shop a bit there. They have a great Kitchen center and it's kinda like a gift store. So, Em decided that this year she was going to be scared of Santa again. She shook like a leaf during the picture.
Well, for my cousins, who read this blog, do you remember going to see Santa with Nana and Grandfather almost every year for breakfast? It was either Wards or Britts. Mom and I were in Applebees a few weeks ago and they had a flyer that they were hosting a Santa breakfast for the Make a Wish. Since Brian's cousin's son is 5 and suffering from Lukemia, we are very into children's cancer things and Mom and both thought that is was a tradition that her parents had started and we would like to continue.
Yesterday, Saturday, Mom and Emily hosted a Christmas party that they had done for about 3 years now. Mom has this group of friends who all have grandchildren and they like to have Grandma and Granddaughter events. This party is one of them.
Just down the road is this farm. Every Halloween they host the Haunted Hayride. It was voted most extreme hayride by the travel channel. Headless Horseman. It's really cool. Well, they decided they would capitalize on the season and opened a winter version. Frosty Fest. Em wanted nothing to do with Santa last night.
This morning, Mom and Dad took Em to the breakfast. Pancakes and Bacon and Em wouldn't go near Santa.
In the past, Em has been so freaked by Santa, that I have to send him an e-mail to tell him to leave the gifts in the garage, so that she would feel better. She was scared of him coming into the house. She's starting with that again.
We celebrate St. Nicholas Day in our house. St Nicholas comes on the the night of the 5th of December. That's where the tradition of stockings came from. But in our house, St. Nick takes your old, out grown slippers and replaces them with new ones and some treats inside. She was so freaked this year, I wasn't sure she was going to put her slippers under the tree in her room. But she did.
I can almost see her trying to muscle her way past her fears in order to be a big girl. But she still wants to be a baby.
When I asked her how her breakfast was this morning or how Frosty Fest was, she tells me that she doesn't want to talk about it.
Think about it though. A strange man, fat, bearded and living in a remote location of the world, with at least 8 raindeer, a wife, no children, knows if you've been good or bad, brings you gifts for no reason other than he wants too, breaks into your house every year, gives you candy in the mall or the back of the fire truck, employs thousands of short freaky characters and only works one day a year.
Isn't this the person we tell them all year to stay away from? But all will be forgiven when she opens her new Hannah Montana bed room set.
Well, for my cousins, who read this blog, do you remember going to see Santa with Nana and Grandfather almost every year for breakfast? It was either Wards or Britts. Mom and I were in Applebees a few weeks ago and they had a flyer that they were hosting a Santa breakfast for the Make a Wish. Since Brian's cousin's son is 5 and suffering from Lukemia, we are very into children's cancer things and Mom and both thought that is was a tradition that her parents had started and we would like to continue.
Yesterday, Saturday, Mom and Emily hosted a Christmas party that they had done for about 3 years now. Mom has this group of friends who all have grandchildren and they like to have Grandma and Granddaughter events. This party is one of them.
Just down the road is this farm. Every Halloween they host the Haunted Hayride. It was voted most extreme hayride by the travel channel. Headless Horseman. It's really cool. Well, they decided they would capitalize on the season and opened a winter version. Frosty Fest. Em wanted nothing to do with Santa last night.
This morning, Mom and Dad took Em to the breakfast. Pancakes and Bacon and Em wouldn't go near Santa.
In the past, Em has been so freaked by Santa, that I have to send him an e-mail to tell him to leave the gifts in the garage, so that she would feel better. She was scared of him coming into the house. She's starting with that again.
We celebrate St. Nicholas Day in our house. St Nicholas comes on the the night of the 5th of December. That's where the tradition of stockings came from. But in our house, St. Nick takes your old, out grown slippers and replaces them with new ones and some treats inside. She was so freaked this year, I wasn't sure she was going to put her slippers under the tree in her room. But she did.
I can almost see her trying to muscle her way past her fears in order to be a big girl. But she still wants to be a baby.
When I asked her how her breakfast was this morning or how Frosty Fest was, she tells me that she doesn't want to talk about it.
Think about it though. A strange man, fat, bearded and living in a remote location of the world, with at least 8 raindeer, a wife, no children, knows if you've been good or bad, brings you gifts for no reason other than he wants too, breaks into your house every year, gives you candy in the mall or the back of the fire truck, employs thousands of short freaky characters and only works one day a year.
Isn't this the person we tell them all year to stay away from? But all will be forgiven when she opens her new Hannah Montana bed room set.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Anyone got some gopher wood?
I hate the rain. There is nothing anyone can say about it that is good. I'm short so a lot of my pants hang on the ground and get wet. My shoes were soaked today. I can handle the cold. I don't mind the snow, but I hate the rain. I'm night blind too. The minute the road gets really wet and dark, I can't see where the hell I am driving. I've found a few tricks over the years, watching the white lines on the roads, trying not to drive... but more often than not I need to drive at night in the rain.
And the crap that is coming down is mixed with little stinging ice pellets. Not at all fun. It hurts and just makes everything more miserable.
I never get to carry an unbrella. In my opinion, they are more trouble then they are worth. Plus as a mom, I'm usually carrying my purse, at least one other thing and Em has this thing about someone holding her hand almost all the time or me steering her in the right direction to get in out of the rain.
My street floods, really really bad at times. Tonight, being our busy night in the house, was take out night. I thought I'd just walk to the chicken place half a block down and be right back. But every shit head out on the road splashed me. I was drenched when I got home. Luckly, scrubs are designed to dry quick.
No one had the common courtesy to move over a bit when they saw someone walking down the road.
Hey Josh, can you graft me a piece of your Yule Log? Besides the drivers, I'm doing a marathon Christmas shop on Saturday night... Might need it in the mall
Brian's father is stable. Can't really say he's better at this point. He had surgery Sunday night to fix his AAA, but it's still leaking and they are Dializing him daily cause the amount of fluid built up. He's off the vent, but still in ICU at Albany Med. We are at this point hoping he'll be out of the Icu for Christmas. We don't want to get our hopes up about him being home. But, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
And the crap that is coming down is mixed with little stinging ice pellets. Not at all fun. It hurts and just makes everything more miserable.
I never get to carry an unbrella. In my opinion, they are more trouble then they are worth. Plus as a mom, I'm usually carrying my purse, at least one other thing and Em has this thing about someone holding her hand almost all the time or me steering her in the right direction to get in out of the rain.
My street floods, really really bad at times. Tonight, being our busy night in the house, was take out night. I thought I'd just walk to the chicken place half a block down and be right back. But every shit head out on the road splashed me. I was drenched when I got home. Luckly, scrubs are designed to dry quick.
No one had the common courtesy to move over a bit when they saw someone walking down the road.
Hey Josh, can you graft me a piece of your Yule Log? Besides the drivers, I'm doing a marathon Christmas shop on Saturday night... Might need it in the mall
Brian's father is stable. Can't really say he's better at this point. He had surgery Sunday night to fix his AAA, but it's still leaking and they are Dializing him daily cause the amount of fluid built up. He's off the vent, but still in ICU at Albany Med. We are at this point hoping he'll be out of the Icu for Christmas. We don't want to get our hopes up about him being home. But, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Hospital.......again
Brian's father is a sick man. He's been in and out of the hospital in the 13 years I have known him an average of every 6 months. In the last five years it's been worse. Closer to every 3 months. He was admitted on Wednesday for severe abdominal pain and vomiting. They decided it was time for Dialysis. It was something that has been pending for sometime now and it was finally time. His kidneys are finished. But they had yet to discuss or figure out what was wrong with his stomach.
This morning he was doing better. He was feeling well, the doctor had been in to see him around 8 and then the nurse saw him at 8:15. Brian and I were sitting on the couch, eating bagels and getting ready to take Em to Sunday school. The phone rang and it was Brian's mother. I handed him the phone and he answered it. His face dropped instantly and he was up and pulling his coat on before he hung up the phone. He told me that his father was un responsive and as we live less than a mile from the hospital, he was the closest to run up there.
I was pulling on my coat, having just hung up my phone with my mother to have her pick up Em after Sunday School, when his sister called. She was in tears, sure that this was the end.
Long day short, all we do know is that George fell on the floor. He was found face down on the floor in his room, unresponsive. They did CPR and intibated him. The doctor told Brian and I what had happened and that he had 2 seizures.
He was in the ICU for most of the day and not doing well. They did a CT of his head and abdomen. THe head was clean, but the belly....
George has a AAA. It's leaking. They sent him to ALbany Med, as they can't do anything about it here in town. So, Brian is up there with his mother.
I don't know anything more.
As Kathleen got to the hospital this morning, she pulls me aside and tells me that she has something else to tell the kids, but doesn't know if she should. She tells me that George's older, the next oldest to George died last night. I told her that she needed to tell the kids, that they needed to know. She finally agreed.
Mom had Em today. She and I talked about the need to start to prepare Em that George might die. She came up with the best.
"Every person has an angel inside them. When they are very sick, God sends an angel from heaven to see if the doctor's need help. But sometimes, God sends an angel to bring the angel's in your body home to heaven. Then we put the body that they lived in, in a box like a treasure and place it somewhere special."
It killed me.
Keep George in your prayers, please.
This morning he was doing better. He was feeling well, the doctor had been in to see him around 8 and then the nurse saw him at 8:15. Brian and I were sitting on the couch, eating bagels and getting ready to take Em to Sunday school. The phone rang and it was Brian's mother. I handed him the phone and he answered it. His face dropped instantly and he was up and pulling his coat on before he hung up the phone. He told me that his father was un responsive and as we live less than a mile from the hospital, he was the closest to run up there.
I was pulling on my coat, having just hung up my phone with my mother to have her pick up Em after Sunday School, when his sister called. She was in tears, sure that this was the end.
Long day short, all we do know is that George fell on the floor. He was found face down on the floor in his room, unresponsive. They did CPR and intibated him. The doctor told Brian and I what had happened and that he had 2 seizures.
He was in the ICU for most of the day and not doing well. They did a CT of his head and abdomen. THe head was clean, but the belly....
George has a AAA. It's leaking. They sent him to ALbany Med, as they can't do anything about it here in town. So, Brian is up there with his mother.
I don't know anything more.
As Kathleen got to the hospital this morning, she pulls me aside and tells me that she has something else to tell the kids, but doesn't know if she should. She tells me that George's older, the next oldest to George died last night. I told her that she needed to tell the kids, that they needed to know. She finally agreed.
Mom had Em today. She and I talked about the need to start to prepare Em that George might die. She came up with the best.
"Every person has an angel inside them. When they are very sick, God sends an angel from heaven to see if the doctor's need help. But sometimes, God sends an angel to bring the angel's in your body home to heaven. Then we put the body that they lived in, in a box like a treasure and place it somewhere special."
It killed me.
Keep George in your prayers, please.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
I'm not Ready Yet
If Brian and Emily had their way, the tree and the rest of the Christmas decorations would be up before the turkey was off the table. I don't want to do it until this weekend. It's not that I don't love Christmas. I love my decorations. It's fun to gaze at them and tell Emily the stories or memories attached to some of them. I'm always on the look out for something new and love to sew or craft something.
But... and you knew it was coming... I can't stand the disruption in the house. I have to put away and find a place for each of my different regular decorations. My picture frames, vases, bowls... etc. Plus always trying to improve and find room for the new things can be challanging. Plus, not only do I decorate my house, but I help mom do hers and then there is a very large building I work in. By the end, I'm sick of misletoe and stuff.
Brian and I got married on New Year's Eve, which every who reads this blog I assume knows. So, knowing that we were getting married 10 years ago, right after Christmas, I insisted that we take the tree down before our wedding. I had enough other stuff to do with the wedding and the last thing I wanted to do was face the tree after the wedding or when we came back from our ten day honeymoon. So, I've tried to keep this alive. I want the tree down by New Years. I've had it by then and am ready to get back to normal.
Besides, it's a little easier to get Em back into the routine of school when the tree is gone.
But, I'm not really ready to get the tree up this year. I'm not in the mood to get things going. I'm not in the mood for the hard work that it takes to set everything up. Moving boxes, trying to keep Em from the breakables until I get them up and away from the majority of the reach, arguing with Brian as we try and hang the lights outside.
I just want to all decorate it's self.
Where is that mind telepathy kit when I need it?
But... and you knew it was coming... I can't stand the disruption in the house. I have to put away and find a place for each of my different regular decorations. My picture frames, vases, bowls... etc. Plus always trying to improve and find room for the new things can be challanging. Plus, not only do I decorate my house, but I help mom do hers and then there is a very large building I work in. By the end, I'm sick of misletoe and stuff.
Brian and I got married on New Year's Eve, which every who reads this blog I assume knows. So, knowing that we were getting married 10 years ago, right after Christmas, I insisted that we take the tree down before our wedding. I had enough other stuff to do with the wedding and the last thing I wanted to do was face the tree after the wedding or when we came back from our ten day honeymoon. So, I've tried to keep this alive. I want the tree down by New Years. I've had it by then and am ready to get back to normal.
Besides, it's a little easier to get Em back into the routine of school when the tree is gone.
But, I'm not really ready to get the tree up this year. I'm not in the mood to get things going. I'm not in the mood for the hard work that it takes to set everything up. Moving boxes, trying to keep Em from the breakables until I get them up and away from the majority of the reach, arguing with Brian as we try and hang the lights outside.
I just want to all decorate it's self.
Where is that mind telepathy kit when I need it?
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